Mal'chik Gay
by XxFleetingEmbracexX
Summary: She loved him, but she could never have him. One-sided!BellaxEdward. EdwardxJacob. Song-fic based off Mal'chik Gay by t.A.T.u. AU. AH. Slash.


**AN: This is pretty pointless, but I found it while going through my old stuff so I decided to post it (after a brief editing session). Also, I think this is my first song-fic so, YAY! :)**

**Warnings: This contains SLASH or YAOI! Which of course means gay boyxboy relationship, but in this story it is uber mild compared to my other stories.**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Twilight or t.A.T.u's song Mal'chik Gay.**

...

She sees him again. Her face heats up just by looking at those, 'beautiful, green eyes', as she puts it. His name is Edward Cullen, a freshmen in college. He is the object of Isabella Swan's affection. They have been friends since their junior year of high school, and now that they are both college freshmen it is to no surprise that they are still as close as ever. However, Bella's feelings toward Edward have changed dramatically over the course of the years they've spent together.

_Handsome, tender, soft_

_Why do you look right through me thinking: "No"? _

_I can't deny my feelings, growing strong _

_I try to keep believing, dreaming on_

_And everytime I see you I crave more_

_I wanna pull you closer, closer, closer, closer_

_But you leave me feeling frozen_

Bella had began falling for Edward gradually over time. First, she would notice how cute he looked in a particular outfit, later it would be her noticing how tender and caring he was. Especially since he would always look after her. Soon, her mere feelings of affection for her bronze-haired friend turned into deep feelings of love.

"Hey, you okay Bella?" Edward asked as he sat next to her. Bella pulled herself from her thoughts and turned toward Edward with a smile.

"Y-yeah, sorry just thinking about stuff." Bella said vaguely. Edward gave her a questioning look but decided to not press any further. Soon, the professor walked into the large classroom and began to teach his lecture.

_'Everytime I look at him I have such an urge to pull him toward me and kiss him. B-but I could never do something so bold.' _Bella thought to herself.

…

She had finally done it. She had finally confessed her unwavering love for Edward Cullen. However, it had not gone the way she had so desperately hoped. It had been a beautiful Saturday afternoon. They were going out for dinner and a late movie. In Bella's mind the word 'date' repeated its self over and over, although this was not an unordinary occurrence. They would always go out for a movie and dinner or lunch. However, Bella kept hoping it would mean much more than a friendly gesture.

"So...you decided what you want to get?" Edward questioned as he gazed over his menu.

"Nope. It all looks so good, I can't decide." Bella laughed sheepishly. Edward smiled crookedly at her, making her blush red.

"Well what was that really big thing you wanted to talk to me about?" Bella asked while taking a sip of her cold coke. Edward swiftly moved his eyes away from Bella, avoiding her gaze, and Bella could swear he was blushing.

"Actually I-I'll tell you that later." Edward stammered. Bella's eyes widened, could this be what she had been waiting for? Will he finally confess his undying love for her? Bella sure hope he would. The rest of the dinner was uneventful they just talked endlessly about different topics. However, the thought of confessing her love never left Bella's mind. If Edward was to shy to confess his love for her then she would have to do it.

_'I need to tell him now, or I might end up losing him.'_ Bella thought nervously.

"E-Edward I...um...really need to talk to you." Bella said slowly once they were out of the restaurant. They were now walking toward the movie theater that was only a few blocks away. The sun was about to set making a beautiful scenery. The small park they were walking through was mostly empty, which was great, in Bella's opinion.

"Sure Bella, what is it?" Edward replied while staring down at her.

"Look, Edward, we've been friends for so long now...and I truly think you are the greatest friend I could have ever had. You've been there for me in all of the times I've needed you...what I want to say is...Edward I-I...Iloveyou." Bella finished in a rush quickly looking down at her feet, her face as red as ever. Edward stared at her in pure shock, his ability to speak was currently non-existent. He could not believe Bella had just confessed to him...in the night he was going to come out to her. She was the only one he trusted with his secret and now he didn't know what to do.

"B-Bella I..." Before he could continue she cut him off.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything, you probably already have a-" Bella felt like her face was going to melt from how hot it was. After Edward took so long to respond she figured he didn't feel the same way.

"No! I mean sort of…It's not that Bella...I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but I'm, uh…I'm gay, Bella." Edward said while looking away from her in embarrassment. This night was getting more and more awkward.

"You're...oh." She said softly. Small beads of tears trickled down her cheeks as she felt her heart crumble into tiny pieces. Everything she had hoped for instantly vanished, she had no chance with him. Everything that might have been, will never be for them. A small sob escaped Bella's lips before she took off running giving a rushed 'I'm sorry'.

"Damn..." Edward sighed as he saw her leave. He knew she would need time to recover from the events that occurred that night. He slowly ran his hand through his dark bronze hair before he was startled by a familiar voice.

"I take it she didn't handle that well?" The man asked. Edward turned in surprise and faced the other male. A sad smile formed on his lips as he shook his head.

"No...she didn't. I had no idea she felt that way..." Edward trailed off. Then he continued after a sigh. "But what are you doing here, Jake? We were supposed to meet up at the movies."

"Well, I got there too early so I was taking a walk around the park and that's when I saw you two, but honestly, Edward, it was clear that girl was in love with you." Jacob said as he pulled Edward into a comforting hug.

_Choking back emotion_

_I try to keep on hoping for a way_

_I reason for us both to come in close I long for you to hold me like your boyfriend does_

_And though my dream is slowly fading _

_I wanna be the object, object, object, object _

_Of your passion but it's hopeless_

_Mal'chik gay, mal'chik gay_

_I can be all you need_

_Won't you please stay with me_

_Mal'chik gay, mal'chik gay? Apologies, might-have-beens_

_Mal'chik gay, mal'chik gay _

_Can't erase what I feel_

_Mal'chik gay, mal'chik gay_

A few weeks have passed since the incident that Saturday afternoon, and things have almost gone back to normal, at least on the outside. Bella is still very much in love with Edward Cullen, even after his confession to her she cannot stop the feelings of yearning she feels toward him. The day after Edward came out to her he had called her to make sure she was doing okay. After an awkward talk they both agreed to meet up at their usual meeting place, a small coffee shop near campus. Feeling too jittery to wait the twenty minutes she still had left before she was supposed to meet Edward, Bella left toward the coffee shop and instantly regretted her decision as soon as she arrived. Sitting in a lovers chair in a secluded corner of the shop were Edward and who she assumed was his…_boyfriend_ from the way he kept touching Edward and leaned down to whisper things in his ear, inciting a dark blush to dust his pale cheeks. The man looked familiar, she had seen him around campus. Before she could see anymore she ran outside to get some air that she so desperately needed because it felt like she would suffocate from what she was watching. She waited a few minutes and as soon as she saw Edward's companion leave she re-entered the establishment. Once Edward saw her he waved her over, his face still lightly pink from his previous actions.

"I'm glad you came." He said sincerely.

"Edward, I… I wish I could tell you that I am all you need and I wish you could stay with me, but I know that is not true. I know that will never be possible because, well, because I know you like someone else, another man. And I'm here to tell you that although I still have feelings for you, I want you to be very happy with him." Bella finished while looking at her blushing friend.

A sad smile spread onto Bella's face, "You do love him, don't you?"

"I-I'm not sure…I-" Edward stopped himself, fearing he might hurt his friend more.

"It's okay, Ed. I saw the way you two look at each other, call it a woman's intuition. Edward, just know that you can count on me for anything okay, I'll always be your friend, but I'm going to need some time, okay?" Bella asked her eyes beginning to fill with tears. She quickly got up before Edward could say anything else to her and she left. Knowing that she had really lost him. Forever.

~Fin~

**AN: Haha, poor Bella...Anyway leave a review if time allows.** **:)**


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